This week has been the toughest week, because I couldn’t drop everything and just mourn. I was on a constant run; every morning I wake up at 8 A.M and end my day at 8 PM most of the days. I didn’t realize how draining it is until today. After I took my exam, from which i’ve struggled to study for because I couldn’t concentrate. This exam has been the biggest stress of my week. I had to suppress my emotions and worked hard. At exactly 9 PM I was finished with this exam, and drove back to my place. Tears were welling up and I couldn’t stop…as I cried out to my Heavenly Father seeking for peace and thanking him for all strength he had given me throughout this week. I cried more because I am now facing reality, the reality is that she isn’t in this world anymore. Everytime I think of her, I’ll try to stop because I don’t want to accept it. Yes, I know it is best for her to be with our Father, but I am selfish and I want her to be here still. I miss her.

It’s finally Wednesday! And throughout the week I was ready for the weekend so I could go home, but as the weekend approaches my heart starts to race. I am afraid. Afraid of the truth, afraid of reality, afraid that I won’t be able to handle it.

—–Lord, I bring you my burdens and you know my situation. Whenever I am struggling and needed you to get me through it all. You bring comfort to my aching heart and give me strength. And I pray for those who are struggling, pray that you will watch over them and help them through this difficult time.Thank you, Jesus– Amen.  

“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” – Isaiah 41:10

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