The amount of stress I have now, urg. I cannot breathe. I’ve been suffering a lot this year in so many ways, but it’s hard to share it with people. I have no one to turn to and it has been tough dealing with it alone. I know with suffering I can grow closer to God. I am trying my best to trust in Him. There’s a part of me that want to take control and want to know what is the future. Having to give it all up to God has been tough, because I want to know what’s going to happen next but I don’t know what  God has in store for me. That’s is pretty scary for me since I like to know ahead of time. I like to plan out what I want to do. I am fighting the urge to not do that … >.< *sigh* This year has been a huge disappointment for me and I don’t know how to handle these situations. I’ve never been hit by so many things at once, it feels like an avalanche just hit me…@_@ can’t type anymore so sleepy.

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